After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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