using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
