I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
