just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
