And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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