I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
