She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
