I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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