Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I supernannyed him into submission
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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