Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
