a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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