i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
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