my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize