if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
