Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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