he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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