so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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