I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
