I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
