Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
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I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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