Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my phone needs a breathalizer
My hand turned me down
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
