why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
