Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
