How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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