I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
