just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
