just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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