Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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