she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
