Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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