look no pants
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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