i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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