"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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