Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
