He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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