a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He passed out mid-signature
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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