I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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