youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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