My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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