I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sober January is a disaster.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Someone came in the potted fern
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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