I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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