hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
