The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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