its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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