She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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