either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
