member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
