don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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