A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just gargled with NyQuil
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
