Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
