I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
