i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Someone signed my nipple.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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