If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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