New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
