Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
