And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
