i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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