Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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