i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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