Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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