I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
