Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
