Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
