Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
