I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
